Sis, Me Too!
Sis, Me Too, is the podcast where we get real about adulting, navigating life after college, and all the messy, beautiful moments in between. Hosted by Lauren Martin, we’re here to share stories, swap advice, and remind you that it’s totally okay not to have it all figured out. No judgment, just real talk and a whole lot of “me too” moments. So join us as we laugh, reflect, and tackle this crazy thing called life—together. You’ve got this, sis! 💞
Sis, Me Too!
Going Through a Waiting Season + Staying Hopeful + Mindset Shifts
Sis, let’s talk about it—post-grad life isn’t always as smooth as we imagined. The pressure to land the perfect job, the emotional rollercoaster of job searching, and the overwhelming feeling of not knowing what’s next? Yeah, we’ve all been there.
In this episode of Sis, Me Too!, I sit down with my girl Destiny to get real about the ups and downs of navigating life after college. We unpack the weight of societal expectations, the stress of trying to stick to the ideal timeline, and the self-doubt that creeps in when things don’t go as planned. Destiny opens up about her own journey—how she’s learned to trust God, embrace personal growth during uncertainty, and lean on her community for support.
We also get into the importance of work-life balance (because burnout is real, sis) and remind ourselves that our path is our own. If you’re feeling stuck or second-guessing your journey, this episode is here to remind you that the right opportunity will come—and in the meantime, your growth is just as important as your next big move.
Wanna connect with Destiny? Feel free to reach out to her on LinkedIn.
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📺 Watch this episode on YouTube: Sis, Me Too! Podcast Channel
If you’re a young professional woman of color, check out our online community, Soul Sisters, where we navigate the ups and downs of adulthood together.
Learn more at mysoulsis.com
Let’s keep thriving together, sis! ✨
Hey sis, welcome to the Sis Me Too podcast where we dive into the real, the raw, and the relatable moments of adulting. I'm your sis Lauren Martin and today I'm with Destiny. We actually met back in UNC Charlotte. We were both part of the Business Honors Program and I got a pleasure to meet her through one of my friends actually. And so I'm so honored and thrilled to have her as our guest today as we dive right into the realities of post-grad life that most people let's just be real aren't really talking about. So let's go ahead and hop in Destiny, can you tell us a little bit about how you really checked all the boxes meaning you had the internship , the volunteer experience you networked and still you're struggling to find that first job after graduation. Yeah, so first off, thank you so much, Lauren, for having me. Like Lauren said, right, we met at UNC Charlotte and there we were both like honor students, right? Had all the community service, you know, great grades, also did internship opportunity, even had basically like supplemental things catered towards my major, which was marketing, even did like an on-campus job in marketing for three years and still at the end of the day graduated, you know, without a job. And I was like, what in the world? How could this, you know, kind of happen to me? Like you said, I thought I, you know, checked all the boxes, right? Also went to plenty of like on-campus business events as well. Met some alumni and everything. So I was still, you know, in my own way, like building a network and meeting other people, but still just at the end of the day, after graduation, it didn't turn out the way that I hoped. So that all kind of happened, right? And basically I was just, the first feeling was kind of like, what in the world? because it was during senior year I was still applying for jobs. And I first was looking at like rotational programs. So I was completing applications for that, going through interview processes. And it's not like I just, you know, applied and didn't hear anything back. Like I made it past certain rounds. And then after that, they were kind of like, hey, you know, that email where they're like, we regret to inform you, but. You know, we didn't pick you, sorry. And at those moments, I'm like, what is going on? And honestly, it hurt. I'm not going to lie. It hurt because I'm like, I felt like I did, you know, my part and I kind of did, you know, what I was expected to do. And I'm not being accepted at these places. and it made me feel, you know, like something was wrong with me personally. And I know that's not the best way to go about it, but that's just how it felt like in the basically, I got several applications going, and then spring semester rolls around. I'm still applying for jobs, graduation in May, and then I graduate without a job. So it's a lot going on after that. Yeah, I guess too, like you touched on it a little bit. Like how were those emotions when you were speaking to other peers or maybe people were even asking you, hey Destiny, what's your next steps? And you didn't know, how did you navigate those emotions of, wait, I actually don't know what my next step is, what am I doing? Yeah, so that what are you doing next question? It was it was honestly one of the most like nerve wracking questions to try and figure out an answer to. I would say things of like what I hope to be doing. So because I was still like actively looking for jobs and like, well, I hope to be working, you know, have a job in my field. That's the basic generic answer that I would give because I'm like at this point in time, I really don't know what I'll be doing. and then also like you were saying, like looking around and I know some of my peers had jobs, right? Like they already had something lined up and so I'm like, okay, you know, at the beginning, I want to say, know, then, cause it was May, so probably from like May to June, July, I'm like, okay, I'm still hopeful, right? But then it's like, Okay, July came, now it's August. Now for, it's like the start of the new semester, right? And then other people that had jobs, they're off starting their roles and I'm like, I'm still here like at home, jobless, like what am I supposed to do? So that's kind of where I was at at the moment. I was just starting to... lose hope as time went on. Like, is there really a chance of me actually getting something, landing something? Because it's like, I put in, you know, a lot of time and that emotional roller coaster went crazy, right? Because it's like, I find a job, I look at it, I'm like, this is perfect. Like, I envision myself working there and doing all the things that it says. And then I go through the interview and they're like, oh my goodness, I like you and all this stuff. Let me move you to the next round. I'm like, okay, like I'm getting closer. I can really see myself here. And then offer it to be like towards the end. And then it's like, I'm sorry, you're not here. And then I'm like, all this energy and emotional time that like I invested into it. And then now it's back to square one again. So it took me some time in between because I'm like, okay. I went through this whole process. Am I really ready to keep going through it again? So then took some time and then regrouped and then sent out the next one and then kind of went through the same process again. But the end of the day, what really helped me to keep going was just, I don't know, I just knew that what was going to be for me was going to be for me. And at the end of the day, like there was going to be something. and like a company that would hire me and accept me, it just wasn't on the timeline that I thought was going to be, which is another thing that I guess we can talk about too, like how we have certain timelines in our head and maybe things that we see around us in society. It's like you graduate, you go to your job right then and there. But for a lot of people, it's not really that case, right? Yeah, we can go ahead and dive into that. know I was messaging somebody on LinkedIn this week and she's a current senior about to graduate in a couple months and she was like, I just kind of figured out what career path I'm going to go on and I feel so behind because people already have certificates or internship experience. And I told her, said, hold up. Like you are not behind. That's just like you said, societal pressures and society telling you that because one, you haven't even graduated yet. And number two, people switch their career paths all the time. Like I'm almost three years post-grad and I can't tell you. how many people I know that are changing their career path or the career trajectory that they were on. So like you said, it's all about your path and the journey that you're taking. And I know it's so hard to just focus on yourself, but yeah, that comparecism is so real. It is because I know like during, you know, that summer, it was really hard. Like sometimes, you know, you're not really prepared for that side. You're really prepared for you graduate, you get that job and you're good. Like you keep moving on. But it's that part is like, OK, well, that didn't happen. And I have a friend, she has like a sister that was, you know, like a year or so older than us. And I called her up and it was like about the time we were about to graduate. She's like, how do you feel? like, oh, I'm really excited. She's like, really? Because I was depressed. And I was like, what? Like, I did not know that that could be a real thing. And so in my head, I'm like, I'm happy. Like, I'm about to graduate. But then a few months later, and I'm like, oh, I see what you mean. Because it's like you look around and that comparison aspect is like, well, this person, you know, they're doing this, they're doing this. And it feels like I'm behind. Which again, that whole timeline thing, like you're not behind. You're in your own space. Like it's hard. But like for me, that's what I recommend. Like focus on you. And it took me a while to get to that point to where I'm like, OK, I got to block out like all this other noise, all the. you know, post on LinkedIn, I'm happy for you. You got a job like I'm so happy for you. But it's like the same point. I got to focus on my journey. So that's what I did basically from September onward. Right. I just spent that time kind of thinking about like, who am I outside of the university level? Because it was just so easy for me to want to. go from that student identity and transport that right into the career and workforce identity. So I think it's very important to take that time to think like, okay, who am I even if I don't get this job? Like that should not be the sole purpose of my identity, right? No, you're so right because like you said then you're just replacing one student identity for now your role and I think that's why so many people especially here in the United States when someone introduces themselves the first thing they say is their title or what they do for a job and it's like hold up you're so much more than that and I know another thing for me is when I was going through that transition myself after I decided to leave my job and figure out the next chapter I had to also find things to fill my time with meaning yes you're applying for jobs and yes you're out here looking for your next thing but until you find that yes or until you find that role maybe some other things that you can do to improve yourself, personal development or maybe there are some certificates you can take. Is there anything that you'd recommend or something that you did during that kind of waiting season to help with the time passing? Yeah, so I did a little bit of not kind of everything, like I did this little it was maybe like 10 weeks or five weeks or so, like a little online course to kind of introduce myself into it was like SEO stuff. So something like that as far as like, you know. Subject specific activities, but also like I did travel a little bit so Like I went to Texas and like went to the beach and stuff like that spent lots of time with family and also just you know hanging out with some of the friends like reconnecting with people that maybe I Didn't have that much time to hang out with but then making that intentional time to like set up meetings with them and have conversations with them. And as well as like trying new things like painting mugs and stuff like that, which was really fun with some friends. But yeah, and of course, going to the gym and doing like my favorite like cardio dance class, doing those little things that brought me joy in the midst of like still applying. I think it's good to have a nice balance like Please don't like schedule out your whole day just doing that. Like also schedule out time for yourself to do those things that you really enjoy doing. Alright, let's talk about people's favorite buzzword life work balance. So are you able to keep those things up now that you have started your full time job or how are you still making time for yourself, your friends, your family, all the hobbies. Yeah, so I will say at the beginning it was kind of like, ooh, because I'm still trying to focus on being good at what I'm doing and making that adjustment from like having a very free schedule to now working 40 hour work week. Right. But what I mainly do is I'm still able to balance, like I pick and choose, right? So usually during the evenings is when I have those times where I can still like meet up with my friends, still, you know, go out with concerts and see different things that I do enjoy doing. And then I still am able to go and do my cardio dance class on Saturdays. So still being able to have like a full work week, but then selecting maybe, you know, three or so nights or days out of the week that I can dedicate to like spending time with friends, doing those type of fitness activities that I enjoy, or, you know, even just going out to like dinner or something nice. Like just still being able to balance as well as having work. That's what's really helped me to pick and choose which days are like my freebie days. I love that you use that. I use a very similar kind of system for myself. Another thing I always kind of like to tell people or recommend is think about in terms of daily, weekly, monthly, in terms of thinking of some activities that you want to do every single day. So maybe that's something like writing in a journal or reading out loud an affirmation to yourself. Think about some things that you wanna do on a weekly basis, whether it's once or twice a week, and then same thing, but on the monthly scale. And I think when you plan it out that way, it also becomes a lot more manageable because then you're not feeling like you have to do a million self-care activities or keep up with a million things at once. And you can kind of easily lay that out on your calendar and see it visually. Yeah, that's a good Yeah. And then kind of going back to the whole job searching, I know right now the job market is so rough. I know so many people are still with that hashtag on LinkedIn, open to work. So what is some advice or suggestions you would give someone while they're kind of in that waiting season while they're in there applying and just waiting for that one yes to come through? I would say if you're still out there looking, I know it sounds like cliche or whatever, but really don't lose hope. Because I know for me, there was a long period where I was feeling hopeless and feeling like was by myself. But really, you're not. There's so many other people going through this. So I would recommend. Connecting with like other people like that's why I feel like shameless plug but like the Soul Sisters community really kind of helped me too because We have like a little you know job Professional chat on there and it's like okay Have you reached your goal of this many applications this week or whatever because I know like me You Jordan like we were really in the thick of it right checking in on each other so I feel like if you can like still keep in touch with other people as well because like don't isolate yourself That's the main thing to like don't isolate yourself and feel like well, it's just me It's just me like no like there's other people that are going through the same thing and they can also help motivate you too Like y'all can motivate each other So yeah, keep staying hopeful because your yes will come It might take some time, but just keep believing that it will come and it will happen for you. And yeah, stay in touch and stay with like a community aspect. Don't isolate yourself. No, I love that tip of not isolating yourself and surrounding yourself with community because unfortunately I do think when people go through hard times that can be their first kind of thing to do is they feel like they have to isolate themselves or kind of push other people away and like you said that's the time when you actually need that support you need that accountability you need those friends that are going to lift you up because there are going to be moments when you're like you know what like forget all this I'm not applying to another job. So thanks for reminding people of that and I guess too we didn't really even touch on what's your current job that you actually have? How did you find it? What is your kind of day-to-day look like? Yeah, so currently I'm a data specialist at a company here in Charlotte that works with like tools and all things, lawn care, even consumer products like vacuum cleaners, things like that. Mainly how I found out about this role was really through my personal network. my godmother knew someone. who worked at this company and she kind of recommended me to apply. So I applied, interviewed and all that stuff. And then was able to get the job and get the position. And it's been really good so far. mean, cause I'm kind of like a marketing girly. So transitioning to like a very entry level position for data has been exciting. really getting to, you know, play on that analytic side because I don't know if I mentioned, but like my major was marketing and analytics. So combining those two and really getting to play more so on like the analytical side, but also the role that I'm in. It does kind of support with customers as well. So it's kind of merging the two of them together as well. So, yeah, that's a little bit about how I landed that job and like, you know. where I am now. I love that for you and I'm so happy because I had a front row seat to your whole journey and I'm so excited that things worked out for you like I knew they were going to like said eventually and I know you're gonna grow so much within this company and I know you're bringing so much to their team. I know too we were talking about timelines and not being too stressed about having a certain plan but I do like to ask all our guests where do you kind of see yourself in the next year? next five years or even in the next decade. I say honestly, like just keep growing. Like, I feel like within the last, honestly, like since September onward, like, I feel like I've just grown so much as a person and I just want to keep being on that trajectory. like, you know, hopefully, still like advancing in my company, developing more relationships with friends. Still being close to my family. Also, I do want to get back into volunteering. That's one thing that I really did miss from, you know, college because I tutor children for three years and I took a break this year. But hopefully starting back in August, I can do it again because I really did enjoy that. And yeah, just. seeing, you know, where life takes me, honestly. Yeah, so that's kind of where I see myself going Alright, I definitely will be still staying in tune with your journey. I'm sure some of our listeners will follow along with you on LinkedIn to see what's next for Destiny. And I know another thing too, before we wrap up really quickly, is you keep mentioning there was kind of a shift that happened in September. Do you mind touching on that? Like what happened in your journey that really made you lock in, made you really start kind of kicking things into that next notch? So I'm gonna be honest, like I was mentioning like over that summer it was pretty rough because I just felt like that societal pressure right and then I just kept listening to like what everyone else was saying but I'm like in my heart I felt like something was gonna come it just wasn't gonna be the way that I would you know have traditionally expected it to happen. so honestly, I just really got locked in with God and I'm like, okay. like I really just got locked in and I was just spending a lot of time with the Lord and letting him kind of help shape and renew like my mindset about things and since then it's been like we're going, we're growing. it was just, really I needed like that mindset shift to be like, okay, like there's still hope. That's why I'm saying like don't give up on that hope because once you feel like you're hopeless, It's like, it doesn't matter how many people keep walking up to you saying like, oh my goodness, know like, you know, a job or something will come for you. It's like, if you don't believe it for yourself, then your perspective is kind of off, right? And that's how it was for me. But once I really got locked in, I'm like, okay, you know, I do deserve this and I am worthy of it. So like, in the perfect time it will happen and that's kind of what helped me during that rough part was really just getting locked in and be like okay there's some things that you know bad habits that I'm doing that really need to be shifted and my mindset was really a big part of it so yeah thankfully worked through that and I did want to share this because this is a little left turn, but I was listening to this book the other day and is called 101 essays that will change the way you think and it's just like chapter one I believe and it was saying like accomplishing goals is not success but how much you expand in the process is and I think anyone listening like out there too if you're like okay I need to have this done I need to have this done I need to have this done Like don't let that marker be your definition of success. Remember that in between those different points is about how much you grow and how much you learn from it. Sometimes I know personally for me, if I were to have gotten that job straight out of college, like I feel like I wouldn't have grown that much as a person, but because I had to take different routes and different turns, I learned different things about myself. I, was able to like, differentiate myself from Destiny the student as Destiny the individual. yeah, so definitely don't, you know, feel pressured to be like, okay, I must hit this, I must hit this, I must hit this, but think about it as yourself, as your own, you know, growing journey. And just, yeah, just keep being on that path to improving yourself, you know, daily. And I think you'll be set. Wow, I'm literally speechless. You dropped so many gems through that. I really hope you all are listening. If not, go back and re-listen to her response. I really appreciate you sharing that kind of blurb out of the book because that is a book that I even have on my want to read list because that's very, very powerful and unfortunately is so true with life. Like we hate hate, at least for me, let me not speak for everyone else, but I hate going through to thick of it. I'm like, can I just get to the other side? Can I accomplish my goal already? Can I already know what the plan is? But Unfortunately, like you said, that's not how life works majority of time. And I agree with what you said is like, one I'm always in my word and leaning on God, but during the hard times, I'm really leaning on him because I'm just like, have no idea what I'm doing. I need your direction. And I need the strength to get through this. Because sometimes it's like you don't even want to wake up another day to like figure it all out. But you know, you just have to keep going. So thank you for mentioning that part of your journey to but honestly, you said it all like I don't know what other advice or things you can give these people, they need to really take in what you just said because it was right on point. So with that, really just gonna say thank you so much for joining us today, Destiny. I really enjoyed having you. I hope the people learn and took away as much as I did. And if you are listening and you had a Sis me too moment during today's episode, I want to make sure that you hit follow and share it with a friend who use a little bit of girl talk in her life too. Bye, sis. Bye! Thanks for having me.
